Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
