Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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