So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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