Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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