fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
