The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize