I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
