trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
