Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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