Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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