I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
