Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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