I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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