never play flip cup with pint glasses
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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