It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
