I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
