I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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