Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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