My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
