I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
