maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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