So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
