Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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