ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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