What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
please come you make the beer taste better
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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