Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
