It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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