did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
