Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
