Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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