New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
