At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I touched a dick in church today
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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