you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize