why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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