she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
