What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
