Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize