Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
