Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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