great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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