it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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