We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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