We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
