my sisters under your porch take her home
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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