I'm drive I can fine osifer
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
