But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
operation harelip BJ is a go
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
