You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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