I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
