I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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