party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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