Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
