dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
