i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
