Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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