I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
