i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
