I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Panties = found
Randomize
