Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
