I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
