no, he came in my armpit
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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