How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
