Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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