Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
