Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
